Behind every conversation about decriminalization and destigmatization are people doing the work every day. We spoke with Valentine Vonbettie about her journey through advocacy, outreach, and community care, and how her roles with the Oregon Safer Workers Coalition and The Cupcake Girls have shaped her perspective on what adult workers really need.

From harm reduction to shifting public perception, her insights offer a deeper understanding of both the challenges and the progress being made.

Tell us about the work you do with the Oregon Safer Workers Coalition.

My work with OSWC started with attending their social meetings then having a position created for me as I was looking for “vanilla” work.I started working as an Outreach Coordinator which then developed into me being asked to be President due to my solidarity and neutrality among social groups. I opted for Co-Presidency due to how little time I had been in my current role. That was full of public speaking events, coordinating team members, producing / hosting events and Board decision making processes. I also led projects such as our Legal Mapping Project which wrapped earlier this year (2025).

Since I have moved away from Portland, my role shifted back to Outreach Coordination which is something I do remotely with occasional visits to Portland for work. 

What types of services do they offer? 

Currently we offer harm reduction kits that are dropped off at local clubs, shelters and other locations by request. We have partnered with other organizations to ensure they are well stocked with things like Narcan / Liquid Naloxone, Fentanyl and Xylazine testing strips, Emergency Contraceptive, Covid Tests, Condoms and safe use supplies. We also partnered with a clinic and have their cards in these packs so people know if anything happens they have a verifiable judgement free place to receive care in the event of SA or unwanted pregnancy. 

How do they fundraise?

We fundraise mostly at our events or ask for donations then. We are lucky to have a small amount of grant cycles that help us keep our harm reduction kits stocked as well as some operational funding. We host events and table upon invitation in collaboration. We have been asked to attend colleges and summits to speak on the sex industry and will usually invite folks to reach out if they want to be involved. Our next event is for Dec 17 (International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers) being hosted on Dec 14th in Portland. After seeking input from Savannah Sly, I decided instead of a solemn vigil, we would create a day of care and host vendors, a clothing swap, hair stylist, tattoo artists, light catering, massage therapists, Tarot, etc so people can join in solidarity while enjoying some pro bono care.

Donate to OSWC today!

Why is it important to help remove stigma from sex work? 

There has been this huge uptick from those not in the industry to use our likeness for social media engagement - however, whenever we actually engage with those posts to try and educate people of our lived experiences and remove the “downtrodden” trope it seems to blow up into a huge debate of “stop promoting prostitution” or “get a real job”. Even if originally they liked that post. I am unsure if those comments are authentic or bots half the time, but it seems that people truly believe we are destined to hate ourselves based on their comments. Which we know cannot be determined and or even broken down enough on social media. 

Removing stigma would allow people to understand that we are the people who define how we move in this world. There are thousands of us walking in our power each day. While there are inevitably going to be people who struggle, many of us lead very average “normal” lives and some of us do in fact have “real jobs” in tandem with our SW. What we do does not define who we are but shows that we are allowed to do whatever it is we want in our industry. The willful ignorance of stigma is what keeps us both paid (behind closed doors for the consumer) and often vilified publicly. It's exhausting.

How can civilians help to remove stigma? 

I have pondered this many, many times over my career…and sometimes I truly believe they have no willingness to remove it. However, I believe it does start with:

• How they view sexuality as a whole
• How they view themselves and others living a lifestyle they do not understand
• How they watch people (namely women) make money in non conventional ways that may upset them as they compare how they make a living
• What shame they are carrying from biased thinking
• If they have the willingness to learn from others and trust us when we tell them our experience
• Unpacking any religious belief systems that tell them what is or is not “moral” even if they were told “Hey what I am doing is consensual and I actually enjoy it” from someone who is a SW. 

How can we get more allies in society, and why is this important?

Allyship is important and something a lot of SWer based orgs highlight because we understand this may shed a light on folks that go against their own social circles. It’s very brave to stand up and support a community of people who they either befriend, patronize and or consume freely. It is a strength to stand up in your friend groups or among peers and co-workers and explain why that “dead hooker joke” or jokes about sex workers being “walking STI's" aren't funny. It’s actively tearing down patriarchal views on a micro to macro scale.

Are there any bills that your organizations are supporting or fighting against? 

Currently Oregon has no bills on the table around decrim / criminalization of sex work. However, there was a semi recent instance of targeting massage parlors under the guise of “trafficking” prevention. 

Tell us about the OSWC drug prevention course.

The Director of our harm reduction program developed the whole program after losing a partner to overdose. They wanted to spearhead a program that would not only educate people on how to provide potentially life saving care but to put those tools in their hands as well. Oregon has a very large population of users; we wanted to provide an alternative to feeling “helpless” whether someone is in the room with someone, at a party, on the street. This empowerment to step in and fight bystander fawning was an important step. We have received feedback a few times that our education and packs have indeed reversed overdoses and that was all we had hoped for. 

How are you affiliated with Cupcake Girls, what services do they offer, and how can we help?

Right now I am the Program Manager for the whole organization but based out of Las Vegas. We also have a Portland, OR office location. Some of what we offer currently: 

• Advocacy and Mentorship to those needing either a little guidance or a lot
• A monthly Free Store (sometimes with free STI testing in partnership with CAN Community mobile testing. 
• Community events and fundraisers 
• Partnership building with OR, NV and National businesses that align with our mission and want to offer services on a referral basis. 
• Referrals to vetted resources that align with consensual adult workers and trafficking survivors
• NV offers a small amount of HUD benefits for those in our population (this does not cover housing costs unfortunately) 
• Internship opportunities for those in Social Work 
• Volunteer opportunities

Donate to The Cupcake Girls today!

How do you balance your need to make art with also making money? 

Creating art and working on collaborations of all kinds makes me deeply happy, however it has gotten harder to carve out time for those activities as of late. My non profit work keeps me insanely busy. Creating art keeps my soul fed. So I have to mindfully and thoughtfully make time for it. It’s always easier when I can align plans I already have (travel, events, etc) to take advantage of it. 

How do you keep your clients interested while still feeding your soul creatively?

Haha, well this has been a work in progress lately. I have found that clients versus fans are very separate. Meaning some want the “Madonna” and some want the “Whore”. I have actually been considering separating the two entirely and creating a provider persona that is removed from my porn work. This came from the guidance of another mutual who found the blending of the two worlds didn’t yield the results they were hoping for. But creating a whole new GFE persona greatly changed that. A lot of it is chatting from a first hand perspective of how I enjoy my time with them. And photos that match the “vibe” I bring to our encounters. I took a long break away from marketing myself appropriately (due to burnout) but am looking forward to rebuilding my portfolio with photos that reflect the experiences I want as well. 

I am grateful for the guys who have booked me based on my work. I am very fortunate to have some very lovely regulars and dates with people who have shown up for years. But sourcing new clientele has varied greatly as the landscape of our industry changes and as new laws are being presented. As well as some of the underbelly of behavior of those in the industry unfortunately. Their short term gains become a burden long term for a lot of us. (i.e scamming, phishing, switch and baiting).

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How has your SW career changed since you started years ago?

I have slowed down and started digging back into the root of what makes me happy doing this work. I cannot do it all like I once did. I cannot be rushed or expected to jump at every opportunity. I have adapted my access to be a little more challenging for the average person because I found my time was simply not being respected. And my time and peace are my most valuable assets right now. I have been blessed with so many wonderful opportunities over the last 16 yrs. Sometimes the biggest challenge is staying “relevant” in an industry that has newcomers coming in daily. I do not find them to be competition, but I do find I need to change and shift around what is still exciting to people. I have also leaned further into being a Companion than on screen. They both have their place.